Beliefs have the power to either create or destroy. The results that we get in our lives are very often shaped by the beliefs that we have about who we are and what we are capable of doing. Yet most of our beliefs are unconscious to us.
According to world renowned NLP success coach Anthony Robbins, a belief is a feeling of certainty about something in your life. For instance if you believe you are an honest person, it means you feel certain that you are honest and are less likely to lie to others. In other words, our beliefs may have the tendency to dictate the actions that we take as well as drive our behavior.
How Are Beliefs Formed?
As I often reiterate in any NLP courses I run, most changes in life begins at the awareness stage. Unless we are first aware of the beliefs that we carry with us and how they are being formed, change rarely happens.
Years ago, I had a chance to visit a circus and was amazed to see a huge elephant tied to a small pole with just a rope, and standing still. So why is the elephant so obedient and doesn’t break away from the pole despite its enormous strength and mass?
Later, I found out from a trainer that this was only possible because they had tied the leg of the elephant to a tree the same way when it was still a young elephant. Naturally, it tried to escape but to no avail. After several failed attempts, the elephant gave up trying. Moreover due to the strong mental conditioning, the elephant still believed it could not escape from the rope after it grew up. It will continue to stand in the same spot, as long as it feels the rope on its leg.
Similarly, this is how we form our beliefs about anything in life. When something happens to us, we tend to give it certain meaning as we feel this can aid us in making our decisions faster in the future. In NLP, we term this as generalization.
For instance, I once had a lady client who approached me for help, claiming that “All men are unfaithful and can never be trusted”. And this generalization she formed about men was just due to her failed marriage where her ex-spouse had cheated on her. She assumed that the only way to avoid getting hurt again is never to trust men. Unfortunately this had also deprived her of the opportunity to meet a better man (if he does appear).
Changing Your Limiting Belief with NLP Coaching
In NLP coaching, there are various techniques and tools we can use to change a belief. However, based on my observation of the client’s situation, I decided to combine the use of various tools such as Anchoring, Perceptual Position, Reframing and Timeline Therapy for the coaching intervention.
Finally, after about an hour of NLP coaching, I managed to get my client to change her beliefs about men and how she viewed marriage. No longer a slave to her own limiting beliefs, she is now more willing to put herself on the line in the areas of her intimate relationship.
Essentially, a belief change process involves replacing our current limiting belief with a more empowering and helpful one. As Anthony Robbins once put it, a belief is like a table top, with various references as legs to support it. You have to first destroy the legs or references of the negative belief, before coming up with new references to back up the new positive belief.
To learn more about NLP and the power of beliefs, come join us for a complimentary NLP Sharing Session with one of our NLP coaches today.