Ever experienced a time in your life where you had an inner conflict or a “double bind”? For instance, I once had a client who approached me for help in resolving a conflict he used to have between his career and his family. While he wished he could invest more time in building up his financial planning business, he felt obligated to spend more time with his baby girl too. Thus, with the values conflict present in his life, he often ended up procrastinating at the workplace and felt paralyzed in moving forward.
Has that ever happened to you too? Have you ever taken 2 steps forward in pursuing a goal, only to retreat 3 steps shortly after? If this has ever happened to you, there’s a high possibility that you are experiencing some kind of values conflict or a “double bind” in your life.
Fortunately in Neuro-Linguistics Programming or NLP, there’s a technique known as the Parts Integration (sometimes also named the “Visual Squash”) which could enable you to overcome all kinds of conflicting values. In fact, according to another one of our NLP Practitioner course graduates, this simple NLP tool has actually allowed her to get rid of a “baggage” that she had been carrying with her unknowingly for more than two decades! After an intense NLP coaching and therapy session, she was finally able to release the burden and face her own fears courageously.
The NLP Parts Integration tool works like magic when it comes to resolving inner conflicts since it enables a client to go beyond the conscious mind and creates harmony between the conflicting parts at the subconscious level, bringing the two values back in alignment.
So here are 4 simple steps you may follow to resolve any inner conflict in your life:
Four steps to resolving any conflict
– Identifying the conflicting parts: Hold both of your hands in front of you so that your palms are facing the ceiling. Look at the first hand (representing the first part) and ask yourself if the part reminds you of someone you know? For instance, asyou take a look at the part of you who desires to spend more time with your family, ask yourself: Who does this part remind me of? (Repeat for the other part)
At the same time you could associate colours, shapes and sizes to each of the two parts to develop strong anchors.
– Chunk up the first part and find out its higher intention/purpose: Look at the first part and ask: Why do I want to spend more time with my family? The answer could be something like “It gives me fulfilment”. So ask again: Why is it important for me to feel more fulfilled? As you continue to ask more questions and answer them, you will eventually be able to determine the highest positive intention of the part.
– Chunk up the second part and discover its higher intention/purpose: Simply repeat step number 2 for the other part and continue to chunk up till you find some common goals which the two parts have. For instance, both conflicting parts could share the same purpose of making you more joyful in life.
– Integerate the two parts: Talk to both parts and tell them that they both have the same intention and that there is no need for a conflict. At this point, many clients would be amazed to discover how their hands have come closer and closer till they touch each other. When that happens, it sends a clear message to your subconscious mind that the conflict has been resolved.