Using NLP Perceptual Positions To Improve Your Relationships

Have you ever experienced an upset with someone in your life because you just can’t finger out why he did things the way he did?

Would you like to improve your people skills and enhance your relationships with the people around you?

Would you like to learn the secrets of building rapport with others in a more effective manner?

NLP perceptual positions is another powerful yet simple NLP techniques which our practitioners learn to turn sour relationships around.

NLP perceptual positions is originally developed by Robert Dilts, an NLP technique that enables you to take different perceptual positions and step out of what you are currently experiencing, gathering new information by seeing things from a different perspective. This technique is so powerful since it empowers you to make the necessary changes in your behavior and achieve your desired outcomes in life without any deliberate intervention.

What do these 4 perceptual positions comprise?

1. Self – It represents your own reality, how you see, hear, and feel about the situation in terms of what matter to you
2. Other – The other person’s reality, how it would look, sound or feel  if you were them
3. 3^rd party – How the situation appear to someone who is not involved? This person could also be a mentor or role model
4. We – Take on the perspective of the whole arrangement by considering the best interest of the unit as a single entity

Process of Perceptual Positions

1. First imagine standing in front of the person you don’t get on with.  The first perceptual position is all about being yourself and identifying how you feel and what you think about the situation. When you are done, break state.
2. Move into 2^nd perceptual position to find out how the other party is thinking and feeling about the situation. In other words, you are finding out the positive intention behind his behaviour. Break state.
3. Now put yourself in a position where you can perceive the interaction that went on between the two people and identify what you are thinking and feeling about the situation as though you were a 3rd party or neutral party. Here, you may even wish to bring in a role model who can help to give you good advice. Break state.
4. As you move to perceptual position 4, step out of all the former positions and gain a view on all 3 positions as though you were not involved at all. You should be detached from all the 3 positions. What would you recommend or advise the person (you) in perceptual position 1?
5. Bringing the new resources that you have gathered from all the 4 positions, move back to perceptual position 1 and perceive how you will respond to the situation and deal with the relationship conflict in a more empowering manner.
6. Do a test and future pace to evaluate the effectiveness of this NLP technique.

Next time when you experience some difficulty in your relationships, put the process of NLP perceptual positions to use and notice how you will start viewing the situation differently and your relationships as well.

And don’t forget to come back to share your experience with the perceptual positions NLP technique.

Also, don’t forget to check out our video demonstration of NLP preceptual positioning and our NLP master, Jacky Lim in action.