If you take interest in this article, you probably already know the importance of rapport building and how able to build rapport can help you achieve success in influencing, persuading and inspiring others.
In NLP Practitioner courses, it is taught to the practitioners that when two people are like each other, there is rapport.
So what does it means to build rapport or what’s rapport building all about?
According to the NLP Behavioral Model, we are constantly processing information we received from the external world through our 5 senses, encoding the information in our brain in different manners.
These may also be known as our representational systems. They include our:
- visual (sight) representation system,
- auditory (hear) representation system,
- kinesthetic (touch/feel) representation system,
- olfactory (smell) representation system, and
- gustatory (taste) representation system.
Yet just like any other habits we have, most of us have what I term as a preferred representation system. It is your preferred way of processing information in your brain, primarily in the visual, auditory or kinesthetic mode.
For the amateur communicators, they tend to speak and write in their preferred representation system. However, powerful and influential communicators like Winston Churchill, Marther Luther King Jr. or John F Kennedy understand that in order to motivate others more effectively, they have to hit their “hot buttons”. How? By first learning their preferred representation system.
Thus the following are some tips on how you may communicate more effectively to different types of people, based on their preferred mode of thinking and thus able to build better rapport with others:
a. Visual– While presenting to visual-oriented people, always illustrate and give them ample time to look through your proposal. Also, it may be helpful to use visual aids such as flip charts, colorful power-point presentations, product demonstration etc.
When speaking to them, use visual descriptive words such as “see”, “illustrate”, “focus” etc. Also since people who are highly visual tend to process their thoughts fast, you will need to increase your pace while speaking to them so as to keep their attention.
b. Auditory– When presenting to people who are highly-auditory, you will need to present them information in sequence since they tend to think more logically. Moreover you will need to use auditory-based words such as “hear”, “sound” and match their tonality whenever possible.
It is not just what you say, but how you say it, that is going to help you strike a chord with them. People who are highly auditory may tend to judge you solely base on how you talk. They are sharp listeners who can catch every word you say. At the same time, you may always want to stand or sit closer to them since they prefer to “hear you loud and clear”.
c. Kinesthetic– When dealing with people who are highly kinesthetic, always bear in mind to give them “hands-on” experience. If possible, always allow them to “try” your products. At the same time, you will need to constantly share your feelings to engage their emotions, as these people highly value personal touch and a deep emotional connection with you.
While speaking to them, use kinesthetic descriptive words such as “touch”, “feel”, “hold” to maintain rapport and slower your pace. Unlike visual-people, this group of people will require more time to process their feelings about what you say.
Conclusion
To some, rapport building is simply talking about things that interest others. However, in a workplace or in a business negotiation context, it is not always possible. While there are other NLP rapport building techniques like mirroring, however that by itself is not effective if you fail to communicate using their preferred representation system.
With that, I believe you have now got a better understanding of the human behavior and know how to build rapport with different kinds of people more effectively. So here’s an assignment for you. I’d like you to spend the next one week observing and catching those patterns that I have just shared with you in the people you interact with. Constantly ask yourself, “In what ways can I try to communicate more effectively with them?”
Have fun!
Want to learn more about how you can make use of the suite of NLP techniques to turn you into a more powerful and influential communicator? We welcome you to join us in our FREE NLP sharing session where you will get to meet face-to-face with our NLP trainer and learn directly from him how NLP can help in your personal and professional life.